Today I'm...

pretty low, but a little better than yesterday. So there you go.

Since it's been awhile since I've updated, here's a recap of our life in the past several months:

My job became full-time in May, and that's how I've spent most of my time since. I worked some in the kitchen here at Oak Hills throughout the summer. In July, Justin and I went to Colorado for a week. We spent time with family and friends and took some much needed time off. When we came back, I was promoted to house manager at work. Basically, I still do the same direct care duties as before, but I'm also responsible for making sure the house is running the way it's supposed to be running. For anything house specific, other staff come to me, then I go to the appropriate person above me. I also get to do fun things, like shop for the residents, take them to get haircuts and other appointments, and one-on-one outings. I also do filing, house checks, and other house specific duties. In August, we had a bug party for Mom and Dad's 25th anniversary party, which was a great ending to the summer. When the semester started, I picked up about 12 hours a week in the kitchen. I've gone home as much as possible this fall, and this past weekend I was fortunate to be in my best friend's wedding and celebrate with some of my oldest and dearest friends.

On Saturday morning, Justin and I found out we were expecting again. This time it was planned, and it was only our first month of trying again. We'd stopped trying in April, and decided in September we were ready again. So Saturday was a great day, in addition to the exciting news, we were celebrating with Randi and Kevin. Sunday we spent the day with the Koep family, eating good food and saying goodbye to Doug, Daina, Abby, Austin, and Madison, who are moving to Texas next week. We got home on Sunday night and I felt miserable, sick with a nasty cold. Monday I stayed home sick and called the clinic to set up my first prenatal appointment. I had to go to the lab and take a clinical pregnancy test before setting up the appointment, so I decided to go in yesterday morning. I woke up yesterday and the first thing I noticed was that the pregnancy symptoms I'd been having (sore breasts, huge appetite, overactive bladder) were gone. It scared me, because that was the first indication last time that something was wrong. After getting out of the shower, I found some heavy bleeding and I knew it was over. I called Justin home from class and of course called my mom. I called in to work and spent the day on the couch. So now I get to do this all over again. When we lost our first, it took me almost a year and a half to recover. I hope that this time does not take so long, but it's so hard to know at this point. So I'll take it one day at a time, and one day I'll wake up and realize I can honestly say I'm good. I've made an appointment with an ob/gyn to try to figure out what's going on, and hopefully can solve this mystery of why I can get pregnant, but not stay pregnant. So we need prayer. Lots and lots and lots of prayer. For healing, for peace, for patience, for answers, for faith, for trust.

I will try to keep this updated better. If I don't get to it before my appointment on November 6, I will make sure to update then.

Michelle